Somewhere towards the end of the 1970′s, the entertainment industry got it into its head that the public not only wanted to spend their nights out rollerskating to driving, disco music, but that they wanted to watch people rollerskating to driving disco music — so much so that there’d be no need for such niggling details as plot, character, or even coherent filmmaking.
Thus, XANADU, a swirling maelstrom of bad ideas that somehow sucked Gene Kelly, Olivia Newton-John, The Electric Light Orchestra, The Tubes, and animator Don Bluth into its destructive vortex. (Oh, and Michael Beck is the lead, which, yeah, exactly.) Temple of Bad clerics Andrea Lipinsky, Kevin Lauderdale and Dan Persons shed their vestments and put on their widest lapels to celebrate this landmark of singing, skating, and really glowy people, a movie with a theme song so infectious that you will never be able to shake it from your memory.
Not even if you wanted to.
Not even with a radical lobotomy.
All together now: XANADUUU! XANADUUUUUUUU!!!
This is an episode of Temple of Bad that includes several firsts. It’s our first discussion of a black-and-white film. It’s our first discussion of a film that has such a ridiculously short running time. It’s our first film starring John Carradine, and our first film starring the oh-so-dreamy John Agar. Sadly, it’s also our first episode without our fearless leader Dan Persons.
So this time around, INVISIBLE INVADERS is discussed by Andrea Lipinski, Kevin Lauderdale, and pop culture fiend / bad movie aficionado Orenthal Hawkins. Will this fearless trio be able to wrangle some sense out of this sci-fi classic? Will they be swayed by their love of Geiger counters, theremins, fishing-line invisible alien effects and the manliest, most square-jawed acting this side of THE SANDS OF IWO JIMA, or will they decide that this film is just a waste of time? Will they come up with a record number of rules for the Temple of Bad’s drinking game?
What do you think?
Could there be a movie so inanely scripted, so ineptly produced, so all-around awful that it confounds even the staunch acolytes of the Temple of Bad? Uh, yes. Yes there is, and it’s the topic of our latest episode.
AN AMERICAN CAROL was intended to serve as a counterbalance to the perceived liberal tilt of mainstream cinema, to provide the arguments that would swing the 2008 presidential election to the Republican side, and to do it all with the crowd-pleasing satirical sting of AIRPLANE and the NAKED GUN franchise. That it fails on all points is a singular example of a golden opportunity thoroughly botched, and ToB stalwarts Andrea Lipinsky, Kevin Lauderdale, and Dan Persons take it upon themselves to explore how far director David Zucker and stars Kelsey Grammer, Jon Voight, and Kevin P. Farley (among a dazzling roster of guest cameos, all of whom will be leaving this project off their resumes) can stray from their intentions.
SPECIAL BONUS DRINKING GAME: Every time Dan says something is fascinating. Management is not responsible for any resultant cases of alcohol poisoning.